Don't Make Us

In anticipation of our first time back in the States as a family and for future furloughs, I'd like to address a few things that I think churches and individuals should keep in mind when interacting with missionaries.

Don't make us recite Bible verses in a foreign language unless you're willing to recite some in yours. Hearing what the native language sounds like is one thing, but making missionaries, particularly children, perform for your listening pleasure, is another. It takes years to master a language and generally memorizing passages of anything is not one of the first things a missionary focuses on.

Don't ask us about the weather. You can find that information online if you're really that curious. Ask us what we learned, what we enjoy most, how the language is coming, or for updates on things you've read about on our prayer letters (provided you're reading them, of course!). Ask us how you can pray for us or what some of our challenges might be.

Don't make us make our kids get up in front of the church unless you would expect your children to do the same. Why do missionary children need to sing and dance? Okay, maybe not dance, but certainly they should be able to sing sweetly in a language they haven't heard regularly for years and perform songs they don't sing in Sunday School any more. If missionary children want to be involved that is great, but they shouldn't be forced to do a horse and pony show in every church across America. You can go to a circus for that.

Don't make us show you pictures and videos of everyone we've had contact with. Who would you include if you were making a church presentation? Your neighbors, the kids' teachers, the shop owners in the center of town? How would your Bible study ladies feel if you were constantly photographing them during the study and then showed the photos to strangers? Could you concentrate if someone was taking photos during a language lesson or videoing you while you were learning how to conjugate verbs? If you found your image or name online, how would you feel about that? In the day and age of the internet and subsequent ready access to everything online, missionaries should be very careful about this and churches should be understanding as well.

Don't make us consolidate years of service into 5 or 10 minutes. It's impossible. Give us the chance to share our heart, give a testimony, preach a sermon, or speak to a group of teens, ladies, or men. And when you ask us a question, let us answer it fully. Missionaries sometimes have to determine if the person wants the 2 minute answer that only scratches the surface or if they're willing to listen to the 10 minute explanation that will really help him/her understand.

Don't make us stand on a pedestal. It's very intimidating and lonely up there. We are normal people, just like you. We sin, we make mistakes, we struggle with various challenges. Sometimes we feel inadequate and unable. Sometimes we are sick or tired. Or even sick and tired! We are following the same call everyone is asked to follow, only we do it in another country. And yes, that makes our lives, struggles, and experiences unique, but we want to be considered "one of us", not "one of them".

Don't make us defend our country of ministry, the culture, the language, or the people group(s). Don't make rash judgments or generalizations about cultural issues you don't really understand. Don't make us have to debunk the myths you read on the internet or saw on the news. Let us help you learn what we've spent years learning. What we are still learning. Let's rejoice in and celebrate the differences and remember that different isn't always bad, it's just different.

Don't make us count. Don't make us look at people as only numbers. Don't make us use a calculator to figure out statistics. You chose to partner with us, you are praying for us, and hopefully you are keeping up to date with our efforts through prayer letters and other means of communication. Don't make us feel like we're only worth partnering with if 200 people made professions of faith in 1 year, despite the fact we don't know their names and they're not being discipled. Don't make us feel like throwing tracts out the window of a moving vehicle or mass-salvation services are really the way to go. Even Jesus talked to people who didn't believe.

We are confident in our calling and happy to share what the Lord is doing in our respective country. There are lots of things we DO hope you DO make us do, but these are not some of them!