Good-byes

Good-byes are so hard! I grew up not having to say many good-byes, though I guess being long-distance from most of our extended family did in one way prepare me for a life-time of them. I started learning the art (I use that term loosely) of saying good-bye as I left my dear college friends after graduation. Then I moved away from my parents to take an out-of-state teaching position. Next came our wedding, which necessitated another move even further east. Three years later we moved to the midwest for further seminary training. I must admit that was one of the most difficult good-byes I had experienced yet. We were leaving dear friends, dear family, and an area that we loved. After over four years in the midwest, we were moving on again, this time back to the east to begin support raising. Although it was difficult transitioning once again - this time with a four year old, a two year old, and a little one on the way, we were also ready for the next step in our lives.

In all those situations we were the ones leaving. In the past year I have found that sometimes it is more difficult to be the one left behind than to be the one leaving. When we moved to this area and God lead us to our church, we quickly began hearing about the Allen family. They were undergoing mission training in the midwest and were going to be moving back to this area while raising support. A few weeks later they were here and we quickly became friends. I don't even remember exactly how that happened, but it did! We got together for dinner, game nights, and we even watched each other's boys a few times (after I had Dawson and while they were packing their container). We called each other last minute to get together and stayed up late talking. I guess in a way I could say like Anne of Green Gables that they were "kindred spirits".

Then came the inevitable. Their support was fully raised and they were ready to head to the field. We were so excited for them and so unhappy for us! They gave us a wonderful gift in that they allowed us to go to the airport along with our pastor and her parents. Even though it went by quickly, it was a special time. It was also a great opportunity for us to get a glimpse of what leaving for the mission field is like! This may sound rather dramatic, but watching them walk towards security and disappear from sight felt like being at a funeral. It was especially emotional for us as we knew we may never seem them again. Not because we expected them to die from some jungle disease, but because we knew our furloughs might never overlap. This was compounded for them with the fact that her brother, his sister, and his parents are all missionaries. We had lost some of our closest friends and the pain was very real.

Fast forward nine months and we found ourselves saying good-bye again. This time it was with Jason's brother and his family. They had made the decision to serve in a foreign country just a over a year earlier, but through large gifts given to their church and individual support, they were able to leave in the fall. We spent Labor Day weekend with them and they stopped by for a quick visit on the way to their departure point. Watching them drive away with our four nephews in the van was very emotional. It was again compounded by the fact that they will be coming home for a furlough next summer and Lord willing, we will be in Slovakia then. Our nephews, which ranged in age from eight years to thirteen months at the time, will be much older, much taller, much different when we see them next.

It is not easy saying good-bye, no matter which "side" of it you are on. Having now been on both sides, I have a better understanding of what our friends and family will experience when we leave for the field this year (trusting that is God's plan). Not sure if that will necessarily make it easier on anyone - of course I'm assuming that we will be missed! - but we will have a greater empathy for those left behind.

The best part about this account is that we DID (and do!) get to see the Allens again. The Lord blessed them with a pregnancy and they came home on a baby furlough. In November Jason and I made the trek to the airport along with her family and two other couples from church to greet the Allens as they arrived home. It was wonderful to see them again! We are once again enjoying game nights, dinners, and late-night discussions. It has been a great encouragement and blessing to have them in our lives again.

Of course, this means another good-bye in May. It will be sad, I'm sure, but I can't help but be grateful for this extra unexpected time the Lord has given us together. Also, if we do get to leave for the field this summer, our furloughs may just overlap in the future.

Most importantly, the Lord has used multiple good-byes in my life to remind that this is not my home, I'm just passing through. Some day His children will be gathered together for all of eternity. What a day that will be!