Wondering Why

There have been a variety of times in my life when I've wondered why certain things were happening in our lives. I haven't really been at that place for a while, but I am finding myself thinking those thoughts again.

Last week was our first missions conference. It was called a missions revival, so the key note speaker was an evangelist. The Lord used the first service to work in both of our hearts. It didn't take long for the "adventures" to begin. Peyton woke up coughing at 4 in the morning and didn't stop for a half hour. (We were in an open hotel room, so it affected everyone.) I finally got back to sleep, then the baby woke up at 7 crying very loudly. I started to suspect something wasn't right because he would break out in tears for no apparent reason, then stop just as quickly.

We went back to the church for the school chapel and a lunch. The baby continued to be fussy so I took him into the nursery. It was then I noticed a funny spot on one of his fingers. It looked like a pimple - very pink, almost red, and swollen.

That afternoon we went back to the hotel and tried to get a nap. The baby only slept an hour and woke up crying loudly once again. The boys had just fallen asleep a short time before. I made the decision we needed to get the baby checked. I then started making phone calls to the local hospital, our insurance, and our dr. to make sure everything woud be covered. After getting a huge run-around from our insurance with no promise to cover the ER visit, we woke the boys up and headed to the hospital where the phone calls and questions continued. The workers were so kind and gracious and did all they could to help me out.

Sure enough, he had an ear infection in his left ear and an infection in his finger. We're getting pretty experienced at this thing called staph infections. So this requires a stronger antibiotic that is cleaning out his digestive system and subsequently burning up his bottom. The pastor gave me permission to miss the evening service (which I did). It gave Peyton and Dawson the chance to get to bed at a more decent hour.

Soon we were all sick and all very tired from lack of sleep. Friday night we didn't get to bed until after 1 and we had to leave for church visitation at 9:30. Although we were enjoying our time with the people, our bodies were rebelling. I was relieved when it was Sunday night and we were going home.

The service lasted almost 3 hrs. and then the pastor wanted us to stay for fellowship. We didn't leave until after 11. About half-way home Jason heard a pop and decided to pull over. Our car top carrier had come open. We had no idea what all we had lost. After pulling some things out Jason discovered a cd case was missing - with 200 cd's. We had to drive to the next exit, drive south, then drive north again looking for that and a couple other things. No luck. With another 40 mins. added to our trip we didn't get home and to bed until after 2.

Jason re-drove the area yesterday afternoon. He found the Lego lid, but didn't find the case. We also discovered Gavin forgot his jean bag with his Bible at the church (even though we specifically asked him on the way home if he had it). We are hoping we somehow accidentally left the case there too, but if we did it was in the parking lot and may be long gone by now.

The climax to all this was last night. I've been having some suspicions that things were not going as they should with Gavin eating dairy. There have been a few times where he seemed to get pink marks around his mouth, but he would always say he felt fine and didn't feel itchy. I called the allergist's office one day to let them know this was happening and they said it was probably a threshold issue and to limit how much dairy he eats in a day. We decided he wouldn't drink any milk, but could eat things with dairy in them. Last week I thought I saw a hive on his belly, but also thought it could be a bug bite, so I dismissed it. Last night he had a little butter on his bread and some parmesan cheese on his spaghetti. For some reason (obviously the Holy Spirit!) I checked his belly. He had a huge patch of hives. I then stripped him down to his underwear and checked him over. He had patches on both of his upper thighs, down one of his calves, a few on his back, hand, and face, and a small patch on one upper arm. Jason began getting dressed to take him to the hospital while I gave him Benadryl. Thankfully it cleared up and we didn't have to take him in.

I am trying to maintain a postive spirit in the midst of all this. I'm trying to not worry about the "what-ifs" such as, does this mean he'll never outgrow it, did we damage his chances by feeding it to him for a month, or does this mean he'll have a serious reaction the next time he's accidentally exposed? I'm also concerned about the baby - will his finger heal, will he and/or I develop thrush, or will he be exposed to something else?

I wrote before that I knew God would do whatever glorified Him most. At the time, we believed Gavin had outgrown his allergy. So, will I continue to glorify Him in spite of this "bad news" or will I get angry at Him? What attitude will I convey to Gavin and to those around me? Will I be gracious about having to pack food and constantly being on food patrol when traveling? Can I be thankful in ALL things?

I don't know what work God is doing in our lives through this, but I am trying to be open to whatever lesson He may have for us.