Three R's

My family has taken the responsibility of the three R's very seriously. We have put them into practice in the following ways.

Recycle - Allow others in the family to become infected with the same virus you have been suffering under. This prevents the waste of infectious viruses, which would otherwise be destroyed. Do not tolerate the overuse of Kleenexes or hand-washing.

Reduce - By spreading the virus, you thereby reduce the number of healthy people in a family. This allows all family members to be united in suffering. Common methods include sneezing on others, eating a baby's slobber, spreading germs with toddler hands, and being cooped up due to abnormally low outside temperatures.

Reuse - If you don't feel completely miserable (or even if you do) during your first virus attack, allow yourself to become infected again. The less time you allow between viruses, the more effective the approach. Eventually you will be so used to being sick that it will become a normal, every day occurrence.