As I've continued to think about having a proper perspective in preparation for Thanksgiving, and ultimately for every day, I've been considering what throws us off the proper course.
Expectations - This has been true of me so often. When I look back at times in my life when I have been discontent, complaining, angry, etc., this has often been the perpetrator. When I graduated from college I expected to at least be engaged, if not marred. Why was I still single? My second year of teaching I was angry because I felt I got the wrong classroom because of my class size. I was also hurt because a new teacher got the offer to pursue a master's degree before me. Hadn't I put in my time? After marriage, well, my expectations have often got me in trouble there and still do from time to time. Didn't I deserve the perfect husband? (Regardless of whether or not I was the perfect wife?) In 2003 our family grew with the birth of Gavin and as you know, our lives have been topsy turvy many times with medical issues. What did I do wrong? Why us, why him? We expect life to be smooth for us, and if it's not for others, well, that's too bad, isn't it? Jesus' life was certainly not smooth. He was not wealthy, He never received the accolades He deserved, and He died a brutal death for us, for our sins.
Dependence - This has been a rough year for Jason, beginning with the sudden and unexpected death of his father. Soon after, he began experiencing various physical issues, causing much stress on both of us. He also had to pick up a lot of responsbilities when our pastor retired and he became the sole leader of our church. I again become discontent, wondering what was happening to my life, causing me to respond often in an improper manner. Gratitude for anything was the farthest thing from my mind at that point. My rock, my husband, my stability was gone. But that was where I was wrong. I was depending on Jason, not God. My focus was on him, not Him. When we look to the Lord, we have so much to be grateful for, real things to be thankful for. Our focus is no longer on negative circumstances, but on the future, the hope only He can give. He should be the only rock, the only foundation, we stand on.
Gratitude - Have you made a thanskgiving list? I haven't yet, though it is something I would like to do as a family. What will be on it? Will you be showing true gratitude for everything - yes, everything. Consider this quote which comes from "The Christian Courier" newspaper, which I received at a Chrisitian book store yesterday. "....who in their right mind would be thankful for things that were unpleasant or difficult? Which begs the question, what if it seemed that there was nothing to be thankful for, could we still give thanks to God?" (article written by Don Conklin). Although we are the only country to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday, could it be celebrated in all countries - even where there is little food and very little to be thankful for? To be honest, those in underdeveloped countries may just be more deserving of the holiday. They may find more to be grateful for than we, than I, tend to. This year will most certainly go down in my mind as the worst year of our lives. So I suppose I should have the longest list I've ever had. For if we are only grateful for the good things, that indicates we've placed no importance on the lessons we've learned or the spiritual growth we've experienced through the bad. It is also a reflection of our perspective. Just one example is Dad Rice's death. Did I want Dad Rice to die? No. But through his death, others have been brought closer to the Lord. Two of his grandsons, Micah and Gavin, have been provoked to think and ask questions. For that I am thankful, as I know Dad would be. Because in his physical death, possibly others have been or will be brought more quickly to spiritual life.
Focus - I recently finished the book Treasuring God in Our Traditions, by Noel Piper. In it she recounts her communication with a mother who had faced the near death of her baby right before the holidays. Because of this, she was having a difficult time celebrating and finding joy in the festivities. Noel's response was that Christmas (and we could even say Thanksgiving) is not really about the activities, the food, the decorations, the parties. It is only about Christ, about Jesus, about what He did, and does every day, for us. This brought the upcoming anniversary of Dad's death into perspective for me. Is my focus on God or on our loss? Without the proper focus the holidays are pointless and even at times discouraging. Is that not one of the reasons the suicide rate tends to go up this time of year? What should be "...it's the most wonderful time...of the year!" turns into the most miserable time of the year without God. I can be grateful if my focus is on God - there is certainly nothing to unthankful for concerning his love and sacrifice for us!
May we all have the proper perspective we need not just this Thursday, but every day!
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