Won't Say It!

I certainly won't say, "I'm back!" I've said that before. I definitely won't write, "I'm going to post faithfully from this day forward!" I don't think I've written that before, but I've certainly thought it.

This past week we attended our CEEMed Regional Conference. As a part of what we learned there, I'm re-thinking what I do, what I should do, and how I should do it. I think that this blog could be a good outlet for me. I don't have time to write in a journal. I would like to remember my/our experiences. I hope to be an encouragement to other missionary ladies at some point, though I'm not there quite yet. I hope to make others think more about missions and how they can encourage the missionaries they know. I think the ability to put words to my feelings, emotions, and experiences might help me cope with them all better. It will also help me see where I've been and how I'm doing.

Now before I sound like a complete basket-case, please know that's not what I'm trying to communicate. What I am trying to say though is that I could easily become a basket-case if I don't change some things. The inability to communicate effectively is a big stress in a missionary's first term. This blog is a way that I can communicate, maybe even only for my own benefit.

I also think the timing is right. I did pack a journal in my suitcase thinking that I wanted to chronicle all the excitement and the beginning of our ministry here. Then the fourth plane landed and I was exhausted. Not long after the jet lag was done we discovered all the problems with our paperwork and faced the threat of not only paying 20% duty on our container, but also the possibility of needing to leave the country for three months. I knew I would not want to read what I was thinking and feeling at that time. Looking back on it now, six months removed, I think I might be able to recount it without succumbing to a crying fit.

So that's what I'm hoping for. An outlet. The ability to communicate. Memories. Lessons learned. There will not be a Pullitzer Prize, but that's okay. Right now I'm only worried about the prize of finishing well and as I learned this last week, if we don't take care of ourselves in all aspects, our ministry will not finish well. I don't know how long God wants us here, but I want to be faithful no matter the length.