April 19, 2006

Low Blows

Do you ever feel as though Satan is giving you illegal punches and low blows? I do, especially this week, and even beyond that, this year. This may sound like a pity party, and pardon me if it does, but I feel I need to get this off my chest, so to speak. It all started Januray 1st when we found out Jason's dad had died, but it has gone way beyond that into our physical well-being, finances, safety, and even our mental well-being.

This week we received some bad news on Monday, which thakfully was rectified today, but right after we got the news I gave my piano lessons like I do every Monday. At one of the homes, where the husband works in the Chicago stock exchange, I noticed she had redone ALL of her living room decorations. New floor rug, pictures, decorations, etc. - easily $1,000, probably more. This after a trip to Hawaii with their boys for spring break. Then she proceeds to tell me that they are in the tax bracket that attracts the IRS so they have to be careful they don't get audited. In other words, "We're wealthy." That was the last thing I needed to hear.

It was almost as if Satan thought, "I know Adele is struggling right now. Let's see if I can throw one more punch to knock her down." I can't say I felt victorious through all of this, but I did manage to say how nice everything looked and take time to look at some of the new pictures.

Yesterday afternoon I took Jason to the ER because he didn't feel right. They discharged him a few hours later, but right before his board meeting at church he started getting severe chest pain. He fell to the floor and was shaking, so he had pastor call 911. He is still at the hospital as I write. So far they haven't told him if they have found anything wrong, though they did tell him his heart rate was at 44 during the night (it should be 60-100). We honestly don't know if this is stress or something truly wrong and I am also beginning to wonder if deputation is something we should be taking on right now. Is this another low blow from Satan or God's directing hand? Could it be both?

I am speaking for our ladies' banquet in May. The title I chose? Problems and Worries and Cares, Oh My! Choosing the Road of Panic or Promise. Sort of ironic, don't you think? I felt that with all we had gone through I could use those things, and what I had learned, in my speaking. Well, now I have more to deal with. I feel as though I could never get up and talk about this topic any more since I don't feel I am handling all of this in a very good way. Maybe God felt I had more to learn before I could share it with others. Or maybe He just wants me to share my struggles, so that the ladies see they are not alone when they struggle.

I don't know why these low blows and illegal punches are being sent our way. I am trying to discern if they are from Satan or from God (though of course I know God doesn't punch us!). Sometimes it is hard to know. What I do know is that I tend to follow the road of panic and not the one of promise. This is something I really need to work on.

Is it possible for me to speak about what not to do when facing challenges since I'm such an expert at it?